


Why Connor?

by Emotional_Poptart



Category: Dear Evan Hansen
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Connor is alive yay, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Hiatus, How Do I Tag, M/M, Nobody is Dead, On Hiatus, Romantic Soulmates, Sorry Not Sorry, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Triggers, Uncompleted, im sorry, not gonna lie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-08-26 10:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16679740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emotional_Poptart/pseuds/Emotional_Poptart
Summary: We are all born with a timmer that count downs to the moment we'll meet our soulmate. Evan Hansen has always dreaded the day it was to come, and when it does it's with the last person on earth he wants his soul mate to be. Conner Murphy. *Warning* *Mentions of self harm and suicide* *please be safe*





	1. Chapter One: You can't run away

_ Everyone has a timer, it's how you'll know who your soulmate is your timer will go of when the two of you meet. _

I stared down at my wrist watching the clock, hoping that I was misreading it or that it had malfunctioned, but I was sure that it was right nobody’s clock had ever been wrong. I quickly speed walked down the hall passing different faces none of who seemed to notice me. I could hear him following behind me at a steady pace, never speeding up, never slowing down. I walked out the front door closing them behind me, I could hear the metallic sound of opening and closing after me. I walked into the forest right beside the school. I went deeper and deeper into it until not even the sunlight could penetrate through the trees. I grabbed one of the tree branches and began to climb the tree, I kept climbing and climbing higher and higher until i could feel the warm sunlight on my face. I looked up at the clouds and stared. I knew I couldn’t avoid it forever, I knew that at some point most likely soon I’d have to face the fact.  

“Hansen”

And unfortunately for me that time was now. l looked down at the ground there stood Connor Murphy his dark brown curls falling around him covering one of his eyes as the rest bounced of his shoulders and back. Notorious rumors of him floated around the school, Jared told me about them all the time, I didn't know if I quite believed them but I did know that I didn't want to find out if they were true. 

“You can't run away forever, Hansen” his cold brooding eyes continued to stare at me even from afar.

“Please don't make me come down.” I muttered burying my face in my hands. I never wanted this day to come I always wanted to avoid if possible, everyone told me it was impossible and somewhere inside of me I knew it was true but that didn't stop me from trying.

“What’d you say, Don't mumble. I can't hear you.” I flinched back at his harsh tone. “Just come down here Hansen. We don't have to figure it out all today but we do need to at least acknowledge it.”

I started down a bit more his face was expressionless as he started me down. I gripped onto the branch as I began to climb down, then, I was falling. The branch had given away everything happened so fast, the world was racing past me, and then I hit the ground with a thump. The world was dimming, everything was fading and my arm was going numb. I looked around and then I saw him coming to get me. And then everything went black. 

 

I opened my eyes to a bleak white room, glancing down at my lap  I noticed the white blanket that covered me. I sat up and looked at the monitor beside me. I went to move my arm to turn on the lights but I couldn't feel it. I looked at my arm and saw the blue cast that covered it. I looked over to the chairs beside me expecting it to be empty but in the seat in the corner sat the very person I had been running around away from, Connor Murphy. I sighed I supposed he was right I did have to face the truth. I looked around and beside me I found my phone. I picked it up and turned it on. As the screen turned on nearly blinding me my phone nothing popped up on my phone. I was at least hoping that my mom texted me but I suppose she pulled another all nighter of working, I felt tears well up in my eyes and I rubbed them away on my now torn blue hoodie. I heard shuffling coming from the corner and layed back down and closed my eyes pretending to be asleep.

“Evan, it's to late to pretend to be asleep I already know your awake.”

I turned and faced Connor. In the dim light I could just notice the dark circles under his eyes, and his unheaved hair.

“What happened? I can't remember anything after I fell out the tree -”I paused and stared at my hands something was missing something else happened. “- and I think you cam to get me, i'm not sure though everything is a haze.” Connor threw his head back and gave a almost sinister laugh. “Well you’re not wrong you fell out the tree I came over picked you up and took you to the school and the called the ambulance that brought you here”

“then why are you here?”

“Because, if I didn't come and approach you myself then you would try and act like today never happened.”

I looked back at the ground quietly. It stayed silent for a while the only sound was the clicking clock as it counted the minutes. Connor stood up and silently walked over and picked up the clock off the wall. It was pretty high up I was impressed he could reach it, but then again Connor was pretty tall. I watched curiously as he carried the clock outside of the room and closed the door a few minutes later he came back without the clock. 

“Uhh what did you do with the clock?”

He tilted his head and smiled “I threw it in the boys bathroom trash can.”

I stopped and stared for a minute and I threw my head back and I began to laugh. 

“What's so funny” he asked with a look of disdain.

I held my giggling to a minimum as I answered his question “well, I never heard of anyone throwing out a clock because they were annoyed. Most people would have just turned it off.”   
Connor stopped for a moment and just stared.

“I - I didnt think about that” I put my hands up and covered my mouth, in a futile attempt to cover my laughter. 

“Don't laugh at me at least I don't run away from what I don't want to hear, I just throw it out.”

I was at a loss for words, a whirlwind of emotions rampaged through me. I didn't know what to feel, anger? No his words were true. Sadness? But that wasn't quite it. Guilt, that was it. That was what the feeling was. It emptied my stomach and made the world spin, I had tried to run away from fate but yet I knew that it was impossible, the divinities had destined us together but yet I attempted to cut the string of steel that sealed us that tied us together. I wish I could say I didn't knew why I did it, I only wish that I could say that I didn't know the truth behind my actions, but I did. I didn't want it be true, horrible nasty rumors of Connor were always one of the main talks of the school, and I wanted nothing more than to hide in the shadows. Being his soulmate meant stepping into that limelight with him and those rumors. I stared down at the white sheets that covered my legs and the blue cast that my arm sat motionlessly in. When I looked up Connor was staring at me. His eyes were a deep brown almost black and they seemed to have a deathlyness in them, they seemed old. They were the type of eyes that peered into your soul whenever they looked at you.

“Look Hansen, now-a-days you don't choose your fate it's predestined.” He stared down at the black ribbon that was wrapped several times around his worst and then poorly tied off. “You can try to run as much as you want but it won't work. There's no avoiding it, you can try to cut it out, you can try to forget it with drugs, you can try to end it, but it's always right there a pressing haunting destiny that no one can change.” He looked up from his wrist and walked over to the counter and picked up a sharpie. “Hey, let me see your cast.” I moved my arm over to where he sat and he signed it in big bolded capital letters,

**CONNOR**

“there, now you're stuck with my name on your arm as if the timer wasn't enough. We don't have to be friends Hansen but we are stuck with each other. At least we can both pretend we have friends now.”

He walked over to his chair and picked up his backpack that had been sitting under his seat. “Now get some rest, your mother will visit soon she tried to earlier but you were asleep.” And just like that he was out the door and gone. 

 

I didn't know how long had passed by, without the clicking of the clock it was hard to tell. It could have been hours, minutes, seconds but my mind soared recalling the entirety of what had happened in the last 24 hours.I meant my soulmate, ran away from my soulmate, feel out a tree and broke my arm. I remembered what he said about being unable to change destiny.  I closed my eyes and tried to silence the world. I could still hear Connors words, I could still hear the ticking of the clock, I could hear what my mom would say to me later. But soon enough it all dimmed to a silent hum.

 

_ They say when you dream for the first time after meeting your soulmate you catch glimpses of their past. _

 

The sky was bright blue, and the chilly winter wind was filled with the stench of marijuana as smoke escaped from someone lips. Taking a step closer I could see it was Connor, his eyes were glazed over as he watched the smoke disappear into the sky. He only wore a hoodie as a jacket the hoodie had rips and patches all over. He had the same black ribbon tied around his wrist but this time it was tied so tightly you could see the rest of his arm growing purpler. I tried to reach out but just like that it was a new scene. I stood in a bathroom this time I didn't see Connor until I looked into the mirror. The same dead eyes that peered through my soul earlier stared back at me through my reflection. I was forced to look down into the sink I could see the red drops drip into the sink. I could see it drip down from his arm I could feel the pain in my arm I could see the razor blade of to the side that had been taken apart and was now drenched in blood. And just like before everything disappeared and a new scene lay before me. I was in a massive green field with one tree in it. It was a tall cedar tree that towered high above me, an eerie noose hung from one of the branches and below it was a log. Connor walked up to it and grazed his hand against it. He hesitated before kicking the log while walking away. Then the scene once again returned to black.

 

I woke up in a cold sweat, tears streaming from my eyes. Everything had been so vivid so real it was hard to tell it from reality. Well it was reality, figments of Connors past. Now I knew it was impossible to run away from him, I couldn't just leave. After seeing and knowing all of that to run away was impossible. I couldn't and I wouldn't. I looked over to the now empty chair where Connor had been sitting last night, the morning sunlight filling it up. I sat in my bed just staring and wondering,

_ Why Connor? _


	2. Chapter Two - What's to lose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning: Mild language*

The door creaked open and my mom peered into the room making eye contact with me. Within seconds she was over at my bed hugging me, her eyes closed and her arms tight around me I could smell the sterile sanitizers she used as a nurses aid.

 

“Evan what happened?” she had released me and was looking me in the eye. I looked down at the now dimmed 00:00 on my wrist. My glance had been more than enough of an answer for her, realization fell over her face as she put the pieces together of what had happened.

“Yeah, yesterday was the day.”

“Well, how’d it go.” I stared down at the clock sympathy for Connor filling me as I stared at it, as I recalled my dreams from the night before.

“Well, I guess there’s no better way to learn more about someone then destiny.” my mom gave me sympathetic look she couldn't understand what it was like to meet your soulmate. She never would, her soulmate had died before she had the chance to meet them and her clock broke a frozen 27:32 forever stuck on her wrist. “He wasn't who I was expecting-” I paused and just stared out the window. “I guess it never is but, I ran away. I knew who he was and I didn't want it to be true I guess and just I ran into the forest and I climbed a tree trying to escape and he told me that I would have to face it eventually and I mean I knew he was right but I still was trying to avoid it but when I tried coming down the tree to talk about it and, and I fell.” my words tumbled over each other as they rushed out my mouth before I stopped and looked at my cast. “I fell and broke my arm”

“Can you-” my mom stopped herself and took a deep breath. “Can you tell me why you ran?” her dirty blonde hair was falling out of her ponytail with some of the strands covering her face.

“You don't have to tell me, At least not today. Well the doctor said your good to check out after he talks to you, so I'll come back later to take you home but I have to head back to work.”

I watched her as she collected her things and left. Hours passed by as I sat on the bed bored. I had flipped through the TV channels but there wasn't much and that and my Phone to entertain me. A bit later the doctor came in and talked to me about the recovery process and told me the normal be careful . I grabbed my stuff and checked myself out, I sent a text to my mom to tell her I was walking home. Just as I checked the time the street lights turned on.. The warm yellow lights filled the streets and illuminated my smoky breath in the cold air. I walked down the streets watching cars fly by me and people chatter as they walked downtown. I watched the windows of the house slowly light up, as I walked further down the street staring down at the sidewalk until I bumped into somebody.   
“Sorry, I'm so sorry-” I clamored as I turned to face the mysterious person. Her eyes were a startling blue-green, and her hair a mousey brown with lighter brown highlights.

“Nah, you're good I should have been paying attention to where I was walking”

Her flannel was a size to big causing her sleeves to fall over her hands as the wind blew her flannel back almost cape like.

“Wait do I know you? I m pretty sure we go to the same school.” her eyes studied me trying to confirm her theory

“I think so my name is Evan.”

“Well nice to meet you Evan, I'm Zoe. Zoe Murphy.”

Murphy. I knew that name but where from -.

Shit. Connor's sister. This was definitely not ideal I was currently trying to avoid him as much as possible until Monday but yet here I was talking to Connors younger sister.

When I looked at her she was staring at me confused with her hand outstretched. It took me moment before I realized what she was doing.

“Ahh sorry” I awkwardly shifted in my spot as I stuck my hand out to shake hers.

“You apologize a lot. Well I gotta go, see you around at school Evan.” She quickly recomposed herself and walked down the street in the opposite direction. I stared for a moment before continuing on my way home.

 

After meeting your soulmate, your lives will slowly become more and more intertwined. No matter how far apart the two you live you will begin to find aspects of their life falling into yours.

 

I woke up to the persistent ringing of my alarm clock, with a groan I rolled out of bed as I began to get ready for the day, on my way down to the kitchen I noticed the light blue ribbon sitting on my desk, I grabbed it and tied it on my wrist.I sat in our small cramped kitchen eating my breakfast as I waited for the school bus to arrive, as the school bus pulled in I grabbed my backpack and earphones and ran out the front door, waiting for the bus to pull over to me so I could get on. I was always the first person on the bus so I got to choose what seat I wanted, I always choose the seat in the very front of the bus away from everyone else.I plugged in my headphones and began to listen to Trouble by Never Shout Never I propped my head up against the window and closed my eyes. A bit later I felt a tap on my shoulder, I took off my earphones and looked up at an inpatient Connor.

“Can you move your stuff, I’d like to sit sometime today” I reluctantly moved my stuff out my seat and let him sit beside me, he had a single headphone in.

“What are you listening to?” In a failing attempt to start a conversation,

“I don't know, what do you think I'm listening to?”

“Uhhh, My Chemical romance? Panic! at the Disco? or something emo like that. Either that or rock” I guessed.

“Wrong, here listen to some real good music.” he passed me one of his earbuds and I put one in my ear,

‘Life sucks~ People always hate loser, and they hate lame ducks~ That's it that's the ball game~’

“The song is you gotta die sometimes from Falsettos” Connor began to talk about Falsettos telling me all about the plot and the musical soundtrack as it continued to play in the background. He smiled as he talked about it, it was odd. I don't think anyone had ever seen Connor smile in public before other than sadistically. Even though it was odd it was nice, his eyes it up and shined with excitement is normal grimace gone and his face completely worry free before I knew it we were at the school, I waved bye to him as we got off the bus and headed our separate ways. Jared stormed up to me,

“Sweet Jesus have you heard the rumors about you Evan.”

“What rumors?” he turned and looked around and pulled me to a secluded area of the hallway.

“After you fell out of the tree yesterday, and Connor brought you back to the school unconscious people began to speculate on what they thought happened and now half the school thinks that you guys are soulmates.” He said holding up his timer. I stared at him the cast behind my back hiding Connors signature

“Jared-” he cut me off

“Evan, if you don't want the rumors to become even worse than you need to stay away as far as possible from Connor.”

“Jared.”   
“Also, what were you doing yesterday's anyways.”

“JARED” I covered my mouth shocked that I yelled. Jared stared at me.   
“Sorry, but Jared I should probably tell you uhhh” I trailed off, how exactly do you tell someone the rumors about you are true. It had never happened to me before I don't think half the school even knew I existed until yesterday.

“If you’re going to talk then go ahead and spit it out-” Jared glanced down at my cast and grabbed it

“sweet lordy Jesus, he even signed your cast. God you’re just asking to get beaten up, you’ve heard about what he’s done.”

I just stared at Jared, I knew what the rumors were. And I knew that he believed them, but what had he ever done to deserve those nasty rumors about him.I pulled my arm away from Jared and felt my face began to get red with anger.

“Why does it matter if he signed my cast Jared. You don't even know if the rumors about him are true!”

“What's wrong with you,” Jared away from me staring at me like I had gone insane“Why are you standing up for him anyway? You never have before.”

I didn’t know why, but I felt the need to stand up for Connor, I had a feeling nobody else had ever stood up for him. Even if I was late, I could still try; it was better to be late than never.

“Because, he’s the only person that ever talked to me expect for you Jared. Even you don't normally talk to me” I felt my face drop. “I don't think it's right that you just believe any rumor that you get told.”

He just stopped and stared awestricken “Fine then, have fun with your new friend Evan. Well then I guess if I'm not of use, you can go ahead and cut me loose.”   
he turned and walked away disappearing into the crowd of people. I watched as he walked away, I was losing maybe the only person I could even call a friend. But even though I felt loonier then before I knew it was probably for the better. After all he only hangs out with me because his parents made him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright I forgot to put this last time so here it is. Disclaimer I don't own these characters, and this is work of fiction. But the way that these words are arranged and the plot and scenes within this story is mine so please don't steal my work. I spend a lot of time and coffee on this. alright that was the boring part here's the fun part  
> Thank for reading!!! you guys are so sweet for reading this is my first fic so it'll probably be a bit rough. Another note excuse my grammer on this I just got Grammerly so it should get better but I don't have an editor or anything cause Im broke and this is just a hobby so Im doing all the grammer stuff myself. Buuuuuuut I suck at grammer :( sorry.  
> Well that's all! Thanks you again for reading!!!


	3. Chapter 3: The Broken & The Messes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild Language

_ In the rare occurrence where your soulmate dies, your timer will break permanently freezing, and you will have the choice to live alone forever or to look for someone else with a broken timer. Although if you decide to romantically pursue someone who too has a broken timer, the chances of the relationship working are 15% since they are not your soulmate. _

Zoe's POV

I stared down at the now permanently frozen  00:05  and slammed the timer against the counter. It wasn't fair, I had been so close. So close. Even Connor had meant his soulmate, he would never admit and most certainly never tell us who but I knew it cause there was no longer a faint green glow behind the black ribbon covering his wrist. I walked down the park's path and sat down at one of the benches. The metal was cold and went straight through my clothes as I sat down on it. I pulled my legs up and crawled into a ball burying my head into my legs and cried, of everyone why me? Why, why did I have to live my life alone now. What had I ever done to deserve this horrible fate, only 6% suffers this fate so why out of all the people in this city was  _ I  _ chosen. My soulmate dies and now I'm deserted in this cruel world all alone. 

“Honey, what's wrong?” a silvery voice ask. A lady with a ponytail of sandy blonde hair stood in front of me with concerned eyes. She had eye bags and appeared to be older than she probably was. Judging by the outfit she was wearing, it looked like she worked in a hospital or something of the sort.

“I doubt you would understand. It's something that most of the population will never have to deal with.” the lady sat down on the bench beside me, brushing her hair out of her face. 

“Well, I can at least listen to your troubles.” She glanced over at the now setting sun. “I know what it's like to feel separated from everyone else.”

I stared at her she seemed genuine in her words and it wasn't as if I could just tell my parents that I would never meet my soulmate cause they died. I felt tears well back up in my eyes and I hoarsely voiced my problems to the lady.

“My timer it broke. now I get to live my life forever alone,  _ Whoopie _ .“ The woman stared her eyes filled with empathy she rolled up her sleeve and held up her timer. 

“My time is the same way, it's been that way for 22 years now, I even tried to get married, I thought I could be part of that 15% that gets to live happily ever after... But I wasn't, he ended up leaving me and our 3-year-old son.” She just stared off into the sky. She turned back to me and smiled “By the way my name is Heidi.” She held out her hand and I took it. It was dry and rough she must have spent a lot of time working with them. 

“I'm Zoe, nice to meet you.” 

“Well, sweetheart if you’d like you can come to my house and I can try to make you some cookies. My son most likely will be there but I don't think he’ll mind too much, not to mention he’s about your age, most he’ll do is hide in his room.” 

I smiled at her and looked up at her.

“Sure, that sounds nice.”   
“Alright then, oh yeah and I can give you one of the flyers for our club”

“Our club?”

“yeah it a club for people who are timers have broken so that we can feel a little less alone in the world. It called Broken timers but we just call it BT. You can think about it first I won’t force you to come” she laughed ”Not to mention I'm a stranger you just meant” she smiled at me as she got up and waited for me to follow. we walked back to her car and talked and laughed, it was nice to finally have someone who understood what it was like to have your timer broken. 

When we got to her house it was a small 2 story, she entered the house opening front door that entered into a homely little living room.

“Evan, are you home?” she called into the house as I followed behind her. There were pictures all around the house of him, there was a more recent photo where he was awkwardly smiling. He had musky brown hair that was carelessly combed back and nervous rich brown eyes. He only looked a little bit like his mother, they shared the same nose but not much other than that. 

“Yeah, I'm home why?”

“We have a visitor and we’re going to make cookies, can you come down and at least say hi?”

The boy from the photos came down the stairs wearing a blue and white striped polo with headphones around his neck. It was the boy I had ran into last night, we went to the same school. I watched as he looked from his mom to me and a panic filled his eyes. 

“Ahh, Hi. We uhh meant last night right when I uhh ran into you. I think it was Zoe right?”

“Yeah I’m Zoe, you're Evan right?” I'm smiled at him and he made a futile attempt at smiling back.

“uhhhh yeah”

“Ohh so you guys have already meant! That's wonderful! Wanna help us make cookies since you already know Zoe?” HIs mother beamed up at him I could practically feel her begging him to come down. 

“Uhh yeah sure” He inched down the stairs carefully. Their kitchen was small and cramped but there was just enough room for the three of us. We began to prep the flour and other ingredients, as we talked and laughed, Evan barely talked at all, occasionally throwing out a sentence or two. 

“Ohh dear we’re all out of eggs, why don't you two wait here while I go get some.”

“Yeah of course!” 

“Okay.” Evan looked at him mom anxiously as she made her way out the door.

“I’ll be right back okay.”

“Okay…” His anxiousness seemed to be even worse than normal.

“Uhh well, you can uhh have a seat if you'd like.” He said as he pointed over to the dining room table. I took a seat on one of the old wooden chairs, and he sat down at the end of the table. It was tense silence before I made an attempt at conversation.

“Soo, Evan… What's your favorite color?” I mentally face-palmed myself for asking such a basic question.

“Baby Blue, what’d about you”

“My favorite color is pastel yellow, uhh what about your favorite artist or band?” the conversation was awkward but it was better than the tense silence. For just a moment Evans’ eyes lit up but soon enough they dimmed again and his face fell. 

“Ohh you probably don't know them, it's an indie band”

“Try me” he paused for a second 

“My favorite band is  _ Never Shout Never _ ”

“Oh-My-God. I love  _ Never Shout Never  _ they're not my favorite band but I do love their music.”

“I know right oh my goodness I’ve never meant anyone who knows who they are.” Evan beamed as he began to talk about them as he told me about his favorite songs. After a bit, he stopped talking and asked. 

“Wait, then who is your favorite band?”

“huh- oh as cliche as it is my favorite band is Fall Out Boy.”

We turned on some light music as we talked about different bands and the conversation slowly switched over to soulmates. As the conversation changed Evan began to look more and more uncomfortable so I tried to talk about someone other than himself since he looks so uncomfortable talking about it. 

“Yeah my brother meet his soulmate recently I don't know when but his wrist doesn't have a faint glow anymore, I'm pretty sure it's someone from school, I just don't know who.”

“Yeah, no clue” Evan awkwardly laughed it off as he shifted in his seat. I had a sudden realization as I turned to face Evan, 

“Wait you hand out with Connor sometimes right?”

“Yeah, I guess?”

“Then you could find out right”

“What uhh sure?”

“I'm back!” Evans mom entered back in holding a white plastic bag with eggs and a tube of ice cream.

“I even got us some ice-cream!”

Evans POV

_ Shit. _

I wasn't thinking when I agreed to help Zoe find out who her brother's soulmate was. But then I realized her brother is Connor and  _ I am _ his soulmate. I had no clue what I was even supposed to do. We continued to make cookies and then had some ice-cream but the anxiety never left I couldn't help but bounce my leg up and down as we talked. I was stressing over what I was going to do, I couldn't just up to Zoe and be like  _ ‘Hey, by the way, I'm Connors soulmate’ _ . After we finished the cookies and ice-cream my mom drove Zoe back to her house and I went upstairs and flopped down onto my bed. I buried myself in the pillows and blanket and grabbed my laptop and opened my docs and began to type.

_ Dear Evan Hansen. _

_ In the last 2 days, you have got yourself into more of a mess than normal. It all started when your timer went off your soulmate was Connor Murphy and in denial, you ran away and long story short you fell out a tree and broke your arm. Then you had the dream about Connors life and it was the most horrible thing I’ve ever experienced. I had never felt such despair in my life. And then I meant Connors sister Zoe and we talked and I found out she likes the same music as me. But then somehow we ended up talking about soulmates and she convinced me to find out who Connors soulmate is for her because I wasn't thinking about it. But then I realized I'm Connors soulmate and now I don't know what to do. _

__                                                                                                                                                                                         -  Evan Hansen _ _

 

It was an exercise that my therapist wanted me to try I never really got around to trying it though. I didn't think it was going to work but I could at least try. He also said that it would allow me to keep track of what happened so he could see. I closed my laptop and stared up at the ceiling wondering what I was going to do about the entire mess I got myself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading, if I messed up please point it out cause I clearly did not notice or know Its greatly appreciated. Well, that's all Thanks for reading I'll try to get another chapter up tomorrow. <3  
> Ohh and to the Americans out there, Happy Thanksgiving!!!!


	4. Chapter 4 - The past catches up

Connors POV

All I could hear was my music as I made my way down the hallway; rumors about me and Evan and what our connection could be had spread around the school, it wasn't anything I wasn't use to but Evan was new to the whole integration thing. People would stop you in the hallway attempting to talk to you, seeing if they could get you to spill something. It's why I kept my headphones in, so I didn’t have to talk to anyone and I could pretend not hear them when they tried talking to me.  As I left the school building and began to make my way down the street the bitter cold wind ate away at my hoodie, suddenly a pair of hands came from behind me and grabbed me around my chest and mouth. They pulled me into an alleyway where no one could see us; three guys surrounded me they were from my school and probably in my grade. The one in the middle that seemed to be the leader leaned down closing in on me,

“Look I wanna make this quick. You pissed me off a while ago and I haven’t been able to do anything about it but now I can. So let’s cut to the chase-” he had glassy green eyes that held a ruthless anger in them and messy black hair that almost covered his eyes but just fell short. He held up his wrist up to me showing me the timer that had sharpie written over it 2270. "You see this this is because of you, it's all your fault!" at this point he was screaming his buddies stepping away from him. He had to be insane I had no clue what he was talking about, hell I didn't even know who he was.

"I don't even know who you are, none of this make sense!" I yelled back him tearing his hand away from my face holding it to cover one of his eyes from my field of vision. He looked down giving me a spiteful smile. "ohhh so that's how we are going to play this huh? Don't even remember who I am now? How about this," his smile twisted "Does the name Damien sound familiar to you" I choked when he said that name it had been years since I had heard it, and I could go many more years with never hearing it again. Damien the one and only friend that I had ever had in my life. As I looked at him now I could see it more he looked like Damien but eviler, his eyes glassy now, his hair messier, and his skin hella pale.

"Damien?" I just barely managed my voice failing me. He gave revolting smile,

"Ohhh whoop de doo you do remember it, well peek a boo guess who? It's me Damien!" he leaned in closer "Do you get why I'm angry now?" I couldn't help but stare as he aggressively pushed me up against the wall. Damien. Memories flooded back to me all at once. Memories that I had tried to suppress.   
FLASHBACK   
"Damien, Why do you always have you timer covered?" I asked, he smiled happily,

"It has to be a surprise! That's what mommy told me."   
2 years later   
"I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING." He kicked the trash denting it as it clanged against the brick wall. He took a pen and just stared down at his wrist before lifting his hand and jabbing it into his wrist. The green clock cracked as the dull zeros stayed there. He turned to face me, smiling at me with the insanity of a rabid wolf "Hey Connor how come you get know the truth, why is it that you don't have to live a bitter lie only to be broken away from it.” the light danced around in his eyes, highlighting the luncay in them. “You know- People like you should die."   
PRESENT   
I couldn't erase the past and I knew that, but it didn't mean I didn't still want to change it. But just wishing and never doing was for fools. I stared at the glassy green eyes that coldly stared at me with a malicious intent.

"So this is what you've become Damien huh?" I smirked refusing to let my guard down. "Pathetic" His smirk dropped and his arm pushed harder into my neck

"Shut your mouth what would you know" I smirked, it may have been years but he was still as easy as ever to piss off.

"I would know whats its like to meet my real soulmate".

 

Zoe’s POV

    I clutched the flyer in my hands nearly crumpling it as I stood outside of the Panera bread. I looked down at the flyer that was now wrinkled.

_Broken Timers Club_

_Are you part of the 6% whos soulmate dies before they meet them?_

_Well then come to our club, here we talk about accepting the fact that we will never meet our soulmate. You can make friends who also understand the pain that your going through. Meetings are on Thursdays 6-8pm @ Panera._

_All ages welcome!_

I read it over agian and pulled out my phone to check just one last time to make sure it was the right time, **5:54** . Alright it was time. I walked into the Panera looking for the club. In the very corner of the store there was 2 or 3 tables put toghther with a few people sitting there. There was a piece of paper propped up with a giant bolded ‘ **BT** ’ written on it in sharpie. I walked over to them and a girl with thin brown hair tied back in a ponytail  that just reached beyond her shoulder turned to face me. She had hazel eyes that were filled with excitement as she happily ate her sandwich. She placed the sandwitch down and wiped her mouth on a crumpled napkin beside her.

“Hello, are you here for BT club?” her voice was raucous as she excitedly looked up at me. She was practically bouncing off the walls with energy and I was beginning to wonder I'd I should have came at all.

“Catie can you calm down you're scaring the poor girl” a girl with short pink and purple hair looked over at the one named Catie.  The two if them began to argue. I looked around, there was probably about 10 people. All seated around the tables, they were all of various ages but mainly teens, one of them caught my eye.

“Alana!” she quickly turned facing me her dark eyes wide with shock.

“Zoe! What are you doing here?” I thought you were suppose to have meet your soulmate recently” she was standing up now walking over to where I was. I let my eyes fall to the ground dropping my head.

“Yeah, see that's why I'm here.” I pulled the sleeve to my flannel up showing my wrist. I looked up as Alana's eyes filled with compassion and she swiftly pulled me into a hug. She released me and then took a seat on the booth side if the table and patted the seat beside her. I quietly sat down beside her as the chattering of the group quieted down.

“Well hey guys, nice to see y'all again. We have a new member but I won't force her to introduce herself quite yet. So let's introduce ourselves first alright! I'm Catie!” it started with her and we slowly made our way around the group saying our names then it finally got to me.

“uhh Hi, I'm Zoe.”

“Nice to meet you Zoe! Well who would like to start?” the group fell into a hushed murmur till a young girl raised her hand. She had frizzy red hair and big brown eyes.

“Alright Megan you got the floor”

The little girl shifted in her seat awkwardly

“Well as most of you know I'm Megan, I'm 9 years old” she held up 9 of her fingers to indicate her age. “I was supposed to meet my soulmate a year ago, ...but then my timer froze. I was out with my mom on the way home from shopping and then there was a terrible car crash about 4 cars in front of us… and that's when my timer froze” the group went silent in shock. Her soulmate died when she was only 8 and it happened in _her sight_. Tears began to fill Megan's eyes as a different older girl with purple and blue hair embraced her. She was probably about in her early 20s,

“Alright Catie could you be so kinda as to move the subject along” she continued to comfort the much younger girl.

“Well, umm… who would like to go next?” She was awkwardly shifting in her seat, it was dead silent for several moments before someone spoke up.

“I will”

I looked beside me to the tall girl who was now standing.

“Alright, you go Alana start whenever your ready!”.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading as always, thanksgiving break is over so I don't have as much time to work on it as before but I'll still do my best! I will also admit this is not the best chapter becuase I was having terrible writers block. But oh well, without a further ado have a great day and be you, be proud, and be safe!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (im not naming this chapter) Connor is going to be saved from Damien by a myseterious sarcastic glasses wearing classmate. Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I have no excuse. I said I would I didn't. I didn't forget it though and I'm back!  
> Warnings: Strangling and fighting (no one dies or gets seriously injured. Its quick), Cursing (There's a lot I don't remember if there was a lot in the last chapter but the three characters in this chapter curse a lot) (at least I would imagine they do), I think that's it correct me I'm wrong. wait I lied there's a light mention of drugs

Connor POV  
Okay maybe antagonizing a possible psychopath wasn’t the best idea. He tightened his grip against my neck making it nearly impossible for me to breath, I struggled for my breath as his demented eyes seared into mine, looking for something.  
Fear.  
He was looking for fear, and it was there.  
“You’ll shut the fuck up if you know what’s good for you, Connor”  
I was about to open my mouth to retort back until Damien was thrown off me. It all happened so fast I didn’t know what was happening. Damien was no longer on me and was laying on the ground beside me blood trickling out of his mouth. I looked towards my rescuer, a short boy with swept-back brown hair and tilted glasses looked down at me.  
“Well you gonna come, or are you gonna keep sitting there,” he said with a hint of aggravation. He held out his hand to me, I reluctantly took his hand and then in one strong motion he yanked.  
“RUN” I looked behind me and Damien stood there before muttering a single word that was coated in malice.  
“Jared” he got up and began to run towards us and my feet took off. The both us ran down alleyways and streets going as far as our feet would take us. After what seemed like hours we finally stopped gasping for breath. He glanced up at me with fierce brown eyes. I felt a sharp pain in my cheek as he back slapped me.  
“You fucking idiot! What was going through your mind when you did that, _like oh hey maybe I should try and get myself killed by a fucking psychopath!”_  
“So, he's a confirmed psychopath now?”  
Jared buried his face in his hands before looking back up at me.  
“Yes he is a psychopath regardless of that, how do you know him.”  
“We were childhood- _friends_ ” I spat it out bitterly he was the reason that I was the way I was. The reason I had tried so many times to make the pain end but couldn't carry through. I looked back at Jared and the hunger to know was clearly in his eyes but he never said or asked anything.  
“Well, how do you know him, Jared? I've seen you around the school and you don't seem like the type to hang out with psychopaths.”  
“Hmph not like it matters. I do try my best to try and stay away from him though.”  
I wanted to press him for answers, but it was clear I wasn't getting any more than what I got, not to mention he hadn't pressed me. I looked up at the sky and just noticed how the sun was begging to set.  
“Look it's getting late why don't we go out and get something to eat, I don't know about you but my family has probably already eaten and we need to discuss this Damien issue more anyways. They’res a lot of small restaurants and what-not around.” I looked at Jared and just shrugged and trudged along him silently following him to wherever he was going. After a while, we finally agreed on a small cafe on the outskirts of town. As we entered we were meant with sweet smells and warm air; as we went up to the register to order our food I looked around the cafe, it was pretty simplistic and done in mainly pink and blue hues. There was pretty much no one there except for a smaller group in the very back corner of the restaurant. I ordered a warm soup and coffee, and we both made our way to sit down at one of the smaller tables in a corner up in the front beside a window. The first few minutes were awkward as we ate our food only the sound of the group in the back and the restaurant's background music playing. I sat back enjoying the rare quiet of the world, Jared kept quiet for a few more minutes before finally speaking up,  
“So, as much as I would love to ignore the Damien issue I'm afraid we can't. We have to do something.”  
I rested my head on my hand leaning forward hovering over my soup.  
“Well; A. We can report him to the cops. B. We can and try and contact his family to come to get him”  
Jared looked at me confused,  
“talking to the cops may not be the best idea since you always seem to be high.” an awkward silence fell before I sighed  
“One, I'm not always high. Two, I only smoke the legal stuff.”  
“Okay, so should we talk to the cops then?” Jared asked shrugging off the before matter.  
“Well right now that seems like our best bet,” I said as I rested back in my chair leaning back, I aimlessly studied the restaurant before something or more like someone caught my eye. In the very back of the restaurant where the group was sitting and one of them was standing and talking sat my sister.  
“What are you-”  
“Shhh. I'm trying to figure out who those people back there are.”  
“Huh, oh you mean them?” he pointed back to the group.  
“Yes, I mean them who else would I be talking about there's no one else here.”  
“Oh, they’re some broken timer group that meets here every Thursday.”  
“Broken timers?”  
“Yeah, you know the 6% of the population who has they’re soulmate die before they meet.”  
I silently nodded my head in acknowledgment and made a silent note to figure out why Zoe of all people was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best work ever not gonna lie also not as long as I would like it to be but I wanted to get this done and out there so it was at least done. I'll probably go back and end up changing it. On the note of changing, I edited chapter one cause Oh my God it was a mess. Everything was a mess. So I'll be going through chapter 2, 3, and 4 next too and editing them. Well have a great day, be you, be proud, and be safe. 
> 
> Also, did I mess something up? That sounds like me comment and tell me I want to know. I'm not offended unless its something I can't fix. Well, now you can leave. See ya :) <3


	6. Broken Timer Group Part Two (6.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm also storing notes up here, so my chapter is going to be shorter for now on. I'm going to try to keep it one POV a chapter, but this does mean my updates will be more often. I'm going to have a number beside the title name so just ignore those its just how I split the chapter so yeah, moving along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I normally don't do note at the beginning but this a question and I want to use the end note for my normal stuff last chapter I had a few different people mention how they liked BT club and while I decently plan to include more of it I wanted to know if I should make a list of the people who attend BT club. I do have an entire list of characters who attend from regularly to oh hey you're still alive. A few of them might become more involved in the story as minor characters not sure yet but maybe. But I can put a together the list that totally isn't in my docs of each person and how I've been referring to them through Zoe's eyes if anyone is interested. I thought it might be easier that way so you actually know who I'm talking about when I refer to them by name.

I stared at Alana, she stood tall beside me with that brave look that she always wore when she spoke up in class. She didn't look afraid, she didn't look scared but it was the same face she used when she wanted to hide how she really was feeling. I looked at her hands and could see them shaking, patted her shoulder letting her know that I was here. She glanced down at me and gave a nervous smile before taking a shaky breath and begging.

“Fortunately I wasn't as cursed as Megan but what happened to me was…”   she looked out the window seemingly trying to find the words and the bravery to tell her story, she took another deep breath before continuing on. “ it was a Thursday I think I'm not sure I don't really remember; I do remember though I was heading up to the trolly stop probably to go to the store or something and I was waiting on the sidewalk. I had decided to look down on my wrist to check how much longer I had left on my timer,  that's when I noticed there was less than a minute left I looked around me and I saw him walking towards the bus stop. But then suddenly he fell, he didn't move or anything he just kind of fell on the sidewalk face first people began rushing around him to help him and everything went silent, and all I could do was stare next thing I knew the paramedics arrived and I remember looking down at my wrist again.” she stopped for a moment letting everything she had just said sink in “it hadn't changed a second since he fell. At the time it all happened so suddenly that I didn't really feel anything I didn't feel bad or sad or mad or anything I just I didn't feel anything it was just a sort of blank. Like someone had taken everything in my mind and just erased it can replace it with fog. Maybe that's why I started coming to this group that way I could understand why I felt the way I did better.” Alana stared down at her shoes not saying a word more as she sat down, the silence that had followed after Megan spoke followed straight after Alana spoke. we all took a moment to just reflect on what she said, we all have our own experiences our own pains and now I understood why people came to this group it was so they can express those pains because these were the only other people that understood them.  after what had seemed like forever the girl with the pink and purple named Stacey decided to speak up,

“ so uh why don't we change the topic for a bit and talk about something more cheerful.  we can share more stories later to just maybe take a break you know.”

“ yeah that's probably for the best, how about a game of Uno?” the girl from earlier with the blueish purple hair asked pulling out an Uno deck.

“Maddie, why do you have a deck of Uno with you? Also, I have cookies for everyone”  said an older lady who appeared to be in her late thirties.

“ I like to be prepared” she laughed as she began to deal out the cards

“Wait Jamey brought cookies!” Alana yelled coming back to life from her solitude silent state “I want some!” she turned to me eyes wide and full excitement “grab one Zoe before they're all gone, they're really good. Jamey is the best at cooking!” I stared at Zoe happy that she was back to her normal self. She turned around and handed me one smiling, her smile had a weird warmth to it that filled the room in a way that couldn't be described in words, and her eyes shimmered with excitement wishing that others could feel the joy she feels from the little things in life like cookies. I smiled to myself, enjoying the moment. 

 

_ It's true that 6% of the world populations soulmates die before they meet, but it's that doesn't mean this 6% will be alone. According to few and far sources, there is a rare chance that a timer can start again and your soulmate can change. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay all the normal stuff if i messed up and I can fix it tell me! Comment I want to hear your thoughts I like reading comments trust me, its a highlight of my day every time. Fun fact most of the BT club members are based off real people with their ages changed. I included myself, fell free to guess witch one I am. Another fun fact Jamey is a real person and does bake cookies and they are amazing, 100/10 would recommend if she ever becomes famous. Okay back on topic sorry, I really liked writing this chapter it was a lot of fun. Well its like 4:30am where I am, I should go. As normal  
> Be You  
> Be Proud  
> And be safe  
> also I love you guys <3 i don't say that enough  
> okay I gotta go to bed for real night.


	7. Hair Dyeing (6.2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been waiting to write this scene and also I needed something to do so I wrote it and here we are. I had a lot of fo fun with this chapter and I hope you guys do too!

“Hey, Evan you doing anything this weekend?” I looked behind me my eyes meeting Connors.   
“No, why?” I asked cautiously, Connor had never asked a question like this before, we mostly talked about music on the school bus and that was it. He had told me about his run-in with Jared because he knew I use to be friends with him and explained that they called the cops on some psycho they ran into. But the cops had called back a few days later claiming they couldn't find him but would continue to search, other that everything was pretty much peaceful. So I didn't know why he was asking me such a random question.  
“Well you see, I wanna dye my hair but me and my sister don't really get along, neither do me and my dad or me and my mom. Okay, me and my family don't get along and I need help getting the back part done. You're the only person who doesn't completely hate my guts and plus it could be a good bonding time or whatever.”  
“I've never dyed hair before so I wouldn't know how.” it was the truth I had wanted to dye my hair but was too nervous too so I never did it.   
“That's okay I can teach you. We can even do your hair if you want.” I ran my hands through my hair and thought about it. I was nervous I didn't want to stand out, but I also didn't want to seem like a jerk and turn him down just because I didn't know how too. I sat there weighing the pros and cons before finally giving in.  
“I guess it could be fun to dye my hair,” Connor smirked at me,  
“Knew you would join the dark side, gotta go see ya” he walked off waving as he made his way down the hall. I let out a sigh wondering what this weekend could possibly entail.  
*That weekend*  
I saw him before he saw me, he looked at ease with his hair blowing in the wind his brown curls falling in his face, his smoky breath disappearing into the air as he softly hummed along to whatever song was playing in his headphones. I walked up to him as he turned to face me with his chocolate brown eyes. He pulled his headphones down and smiled at me   
“Ready?” he asked pointing to the small hair shop behind him.  
“Sure, at least as ready as I'm going to be”  
He lead the way into the small hair shop, the isles were small and cramped filled with brushes, curlers, straighteners, and other hair products. Connor lead the way to the back of the small store where there was an entire shelf that was dedicated to various colors of hair dyes of different brands. Connor carefully moved through the aisle before stopping before a specific brand. He picked up the deep purple box that read Ion.   
“Alright, I got what I wanted, pick a color.”   
“Huh” I stared at all the colors and brands to choose from confused not knowing where it even starts. Connor pointed at the colored boxes he had just chosen from.  
“Choose Ion they’re pretty cheap, and they last”  
I listened to him now studying the color selection that Ion had to offer. A certain one caught my eye, I slowly picked it up before turning to Connor and giving him a nervous smile.  
“I think I like this one”  
“Alright let's go then,” he said as he took it from my hand his hand just barely grazing mine. Connor paid for the hair dye before we made our way out; I followed Connor as he walked down the street, to nervous to question where we were going. We walked down the street into a nicer neighborhood as the cold bitter wind ate away at us. He stopped in front of a white 2 story house and walked up to the front gates, letting himself in, I followed nervously behind him not sure what to do. He swung open the front door, not bothering to close it behind him.   
“Yo, I'm home, I’ll be in my room if you need me,” he yelled out into the moderately sized hallway. I stood on the porch in front of the door not quite sure what to do.  
“Well, you gonna come in?” Connor asked smirking, turning around to face me. I nervously closed the door behind me and followed him into the house as he lead the way up the stairs. We turned down one of the hallways to face a black door the had the words ‘KEEP OUT’ scrawled on it. He opened the door and as I walked in I was greeted by an array of different posters. They varied from different emo punk bands to Fallestos and other things that he would never admit to liking out loud. He walked over a speaker that sat on the ground and turned it on, it gave off a light blue hue to the room as he hooked it up to his phone. I could softly hear Coffee and Cigarettes by Never Shout Never playing in the background.  
“You said you liked Never Shout Never, right? Figured I’d turn it on for some background noise while we do hair.” He turned around to face me as he threw his phone on the bed and he got stuff out of the bag prepared. “Well let’s get started shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a lot of fun writing that regardless of how it came out. Next chapter we'll see how their hair came out. It's going to be out within the next relative week (it's snowing here so I probably won't have school Monday and can write then). Ohh and next chapter won't be an actual chapter it's going to be the list cause I had like one response which is enough for me! As always if I messed up and I can fix it tell me, Well have a great day, be you, be proud, and be safe.


	8. Broken Timer Group (BTG) members

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just everyone who is in the club with their ages and how I referred to them in the story, they are all based on real people I know which includes myself. Very few of these people are corresponds with their actual age, there's only one who is their actual age in real life and in the club, other than like Alana and Heidi.

Regulars:

Catie (15) - the over eccentric one with the loud voice. High expectations, low turnouts usually BTG was an expectation (she's one of the three founders along with Stacey, and Maddie) She's the first one that Zoe meets, she is very much like this in real life.

Stacey (17) - shes the one with the pink and purple hair who fights with Catie, a lot. This also happens in real life, they fight a lot. She's very sassy and tends to be the one who speaks up first, she's very blunt witch starts fights, she can be very childish as she hangs out with kids a lot (fun fact she has social anxiety even though she's the leaderly type shes like this in real life too)

Maddie(22) - the one who comforts Megan with the blueish purplish hair, she's a bitch not gonna lie she'll tell it to you too. But she cares deeply for her friends and family, she's the first one to help comfort someone else who needs it. She's best friends with Stacey (Fun Facts 2: She has general anxiety)

Jamey (30) - She's the one with the cookies, she's the mom of the group and in real life, she is the mom friend. Her cookies are very good 15/10.

Jordan (12 the quiet emo type) - We haven't gotten to her yet, but in the story, she's going to be the quiet 12-year-old emo, Not actually quiet in real life. She actually very loud and proud. 

Megan (9) - this is the quiet young red-headed girl with the sad story. She doesn't actually go by she anymore they are an they now (whoops) but they are usually pretty reserved but are very excentric around their friends

Alana (17) - I don't feel a need to explain or describe who she is. It's Alana

Comes when they can:

Jonathan/Victoria(33) - trans, very pretty, sassy, always has funny witty remarks

Gracie(20) - kind and caring, low self-esteem, she better than what she says she is

Heidi (40 something)- Evans Mom

Sophia(24) - Hispanic likes rap music sings it very loudly, curses at you in Spanish if you don't know Spanish, funny

Melody (27) - out there, spontaneous, kind to a fault, oblivious, no one knows what color her hair is it changes too much, gender fluid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have much to say this time around so have a great day, be you, be proud, and be safe.


	9. Chapter 6.3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back, I tried. Sorry, I got distracted not even gonna lie. I'll explain more at the bottom because I'm too lazy to do it up here

 

“So what do you think of it?” Connor smirked at me watching me from his bed, as I studied my hair in the mirror.

“Well, it's uh different from what I'm used to.”

“I can certainly see that.” he laughed letting his now royal purple curls fall around him. “It looks good on you. You don't quite blend in as much anymore but at the same time you don't stick out too much.”

“Yeah” I stared at myself in the mirror fiddling with my hair, most of my hair was still its natural color but in the very front of it was a baby blue. I looked at the reflection in the mirror and I could see Connor smiling at me from his bed. I turned around to face him.

“So remind me why I helped you dye your hair, and how I ended up dying my hair?”

“Because A) We’re soulmates and there's no changing that. B) I needed my hair dyed and no one else would even offer to help me. And C) We dyed your hair because  _ you needed a change I  _ and not to mention you look pretty damn good with blue hair. I turned back to the mirror and Connor sat up on his bed. 

“Alright, food.”

“What”

“Food, I'm hungry and we need to go show off our awesome new hair.” I began to freak out, I don't have any money with me and the money I do have at home is dedicated to food and rent.

“But I don't have money.”   
“DId I  _ ask _ if you had money. Ill pay come on, I'm feeling for some Mcdonalds.”

This time he took a pair of keys of the key rack on his way out. 

“Mom I'm taking the car. Thanks” he yelled up the stairs before making his way out to a silver Honda Accord.

“I didn't know you could drive”

“Me neither,” he said with a completely straight face as he started the car. I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not. We drove down the road in awkward silence, at this point, it was expected when I was with Connor. He never talks unless it's to make a sarcastic remark or correct someone, but thinking back on it he did compliment me. That was certainly not normal for Connor, I thought about it some more before I felt my face began to flush. I disregarded the thought as we pulled into the Mcdonalds parking lot, we both got out and went into the store. It was mostly deserted as it was right about 3 pm on a Sunday, except for the boy wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses that was sitting in the corner. We walked up to the counter and order our food. Connor got some burgers and I just got a cheeseburger and a small fry. Almost immediately after filling up our sodas our order number was called. Connor grabbed the food and took a seat in the corner on the opposite end from the other guy.

We ate our food with minimal small talk about the government and stuff.

“So then what do you think of the soulmate system.”

Connor looked at me with a blank expression that was impossible to read. 

“Honestly, I don't know. It's supposed to eliminate the pain of getting your heart broken, but how do we know that government isn’t using it to control us, and what about the people without a soulmate or a soulmate that dies before them. It's supposed to get rid of that pain but for some people, it just creates more.”

Connor glared down at his wrist. 

“The soulmate system. I think that's a load of bullshit.”

Me and Connor both looked up at the same time to the person who was now standing at our table. It was the guy who had been sitting on the opposite side of the restaurant. 

“Sorry I couldn't help but overhear your conversation as I was throwing my food out. But soulmates are BS, most people get to live a happily ever after but if your timer breaks or you're tricked you never get that happily ever after. And that's fucking bull shit.” He smiled at us tilting his head, Connor just glared at the stranger.

“Take off your sunglasses.”   
“Huh- Why?”

“Because we’re inside there's no reason to have sunglasses on. “Take them off,” Connor growled.

The man sighed and removing his sunglasses putting them in his black bomber jacket. He had glassy green eyes that had a slight madness to them. Connors eyes quickly widened before he regained his posture.

“Found you” he sung smiling. Connor grabbed the food, grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door calmly and then bolted, with the green eye boy right behind us. He pushed me into the car got in the driver's seat and then started the car as if his life depended on. Which was possible considering the look in the guy's eyes when he took off his sunglasses, he looked as if he wanted to murder us. He drove off and I had no clue where we were going or what was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, So I got distracted with an original work I'm working on. I'm probably gonna post it I don't know that Ill do it on ao3 I'm contemplating. Alright now its self-promotion time, Its about gay teenage gods trying to figure stuff out such as what they are the god of or where a certain god disappeared to and hating our parents together like a big old family. Tell me what you think below. Now the normal stuff, Well have a great day, be you, be proud, and be safe.  
> Also, did I mess something up? That sounds like me comment and tell me I want to know. I'm not offended unless its something I can't fix. Well, now you can leave. See ya :D <3


	10. I apologize in advance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaaaaah

Hi, so I'm really sorry to do this but I'm actually going to put _Why Connor_ on hiatus, I just don't really have in me to figure out where to continue from here and m not having as much fun writing this anymore and it's truthfully one of my worst works. I defiantly plan to come back to this I just don't know when I do plan to continue to still write more DEH fanfiction I'll be posting a different fanfic tonight that's probably going to be around 6 chapters at most. I want to take some time to work on my writing and try writing shorter writings and then I'll come back to this and I'm really sorry for doing this, but Why Connor is officially on hiatus. 

Love y'all, stay safe, be you and have a great time. Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry :(


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